[Eminem intro]Ayo. This next song, is a true story.
(Come here, bitch!)
(Aah!)
'Cause some things in this universe
Don't make sense, but some how
Always seem to fuckin' work

(Eminem):
Flyin' down I-75 'bout to hop into 696,
I look over this fuckin' chick's tryna fix
Her makeup. I'm like "Bitch, you ain't a plastic surgeon.
I advise ya to put up your visor. I'm getting' kyna ticked.
You're blocking my side mirror!" She's like "Yeah, so?"
"I'm like "So? You gon' need a stitch, you keep acting like that, ho.
I look your husband slut? That's a rhetorical question.
You talk to me like you talk to him, I'll fuck you up!
In fact, get in the back seat, like the rest of my dates...
No bitch rides shotgun. 'What, taxi?'
Stop and pick you some Maxi-Pads up,
Is that what you actually asked me?!"
Bitch reaches over and smacks me
Says I annoy the fuck out her.
"Get the fuck in back. Put on your slut powder,
You slut. What?! Shut the fuck up now-or
Getcha feelings hurt worse than my last chick
When I accidentally butt-dialed her
And she heard me spreading AIDS rumors UH-bout her."
Turn the radio up-louder. Make it thump while I bump
That Relapse CD, tryna hit every bump in that cunt
'Fore I snap back into act-SHUN
'Cause she kept asking me to quit calling her "cunt"!
I said "I cunt!"


Chorus (Eminem):
She said "Marshall, You ain't really like that. Ohh-oh.
You're putting on a show, is your mic dead?
You're breaking my heart." She said:
"You're breaking my heart."
'Cause you ain't really like that. Ohh-oh.
You're putting on a show, is your mic dead?.
You're breaking my heart." She said:
"You're breaking my heart."

(Royce Da 5'9"):
Uh. pull up to club in a Porsche, not a Pinto
While Marshall's at a white trash party, I'm at drama central
I walk up in there looking at my phone on twitter, tweeting:
"I'm feeling a bunch a bitches!", looking at a nigga, cheesing
I get approached by this little scheezer
She asked me I am the realest G 'cause I'm Gucci from head to feet
I said "Yeah, I'm really is. 'Cause I spit in ya man's face
Like Cam did that little kid on Killa Season
She said "I'm feelin' your big ego. Wait, am I talking wrong?"
I said "Naw, I'm a walkin' Kanye/Beyonce song."
She said "I'm mad at chu."
I said "Why?" She said "Why you never
Make songs with chicks, as if it's hard to do?"
I said "I make songs for me, leave the studio,
And go an' fuck the bitch who go on and make da songs for you!"
She said I'm feeling your whole swagger and flow.
Can we hook up?" I said "Ummm…
You just used the word swagger. So no."
She said…

Chorus (Eminem):
You ain't really like that. Ohh-oh.
You're putting on a show, is your mic dead?
You're breaking my heart." She said:
"You're breaking my heart."
'Cause you ain't really like that. Ohh-oh.
You're putting on a show, is your mic dead?.
You're breaking my heart." She said:
"You're breaking my heart."

(Eminem):
We been riding around in this hatchback, 'til I'm fucking hunchback
Where the fuck's this party at, slutbag,
Cunt? Cut what act? Think it's act? Fuck that,
I'm tryna shag scuz. Better find this loveshack
Or somewhere the fuck-at… Ah! Don't touch that,
You fat dyke! I'm trine hear some Bagpipes
From Baghdad. Don't act like
You don't like 'em: them accents. I rap tight!
And Imma torture you 'til we find this place. Yeah, that's right!
I thought it was just past this light… just past Van Dyk.
Better hit that maplight, read them directions. Oh yeah…
You can't read. And you can't write. You told me that last night."
She took my CD out the deck, snapped in half, like
(Crack) "Relapse sucked." I snapped, hit the gas like
(Zoom) Blew through the lights, spun out, hit a patch of black ice.
Forgot we had trailer hitched to the back. We jack-knifed.
Bitch flew out the car, I laugh like, she deserved it.
She didn't think I'd act like
That in person.


(Royce Da 5'9"):
Tell 'em I be there in a minute,
I'm tryna break up this catfight
Between my mistress and damn wife
Then this chick wanted a hug. She was fat,
So I gave her dap, then I tell 'er to scat.
I'm not mean, I'm cute
On my way to the front door, taken' the scenic route
To avoid this chick with a *lace* looking' like Venus' and Serena's hoofs
I'm saying: them chicks got horse's asses, they been attractive.
Hope when they see me they don't slap me with them tennis rackets.
My mind drifted back to this shit. I see my wife, push her down
(Aagh!) Step over her body, then smack the mistress
Police outside, I turn and past the gat to Viscious
Then I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin
(Argh!) He mocks the mistress, turns around gives the misses hugs and kisses
Looks at me twisted like Nickel, ("Yeah, watch this shit!")
He smacks the dentures outta the mouth of the fat bitch
He rode with and looks back to mention:
"Royce, it's good to be back to business!"


(Eminem):
You ain't really like that. Ohh-oh.
You're putting on a show, is your mic dead?
You're breaking our hearts." they said:
"You're breaking our hearts."
'Cause you ain't really like that. Ohh-oh.
You're putting on a show, is your mic dead?.
You're breaking our heart." they said:
"You're breaking our heart."