[Verse 1: Mr. Porter]
Welcome to the ill world of Mr. P-O
Ay, keep the talk, B; I'm tryna see dough
If it ain't about bread, what we gon' speak fo?
If it ain't no lead, then it ain't no beef, bro
You better get a leash cause your freak ho
Specialize in wood like she Home Depot
I'm like Chico DeBarge, we stars
Roscoe P. Coltrane in these bars, man
Amtrak, I'll break her damn back, man
It's Ralph Lauren, this ain't no damn Chaps
It's all polo; I'm so pro, though
You bird-crazy: El Pollo Loco
Talking bout cheese and this ain't no photo
Asking bout rings like the ho know Frodo
You better get out of my house and shit
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, I'm sick

[Verse 2: Royce da 5'9"]
Niggas be lying, talking bout that, bust a heater
Once I see him, maybe more like Justin Bieber
Leaving my rivals underground like Skyzoo's, how I do
I have her laying in the street and bleeding, butt naked
With a bullet in his muthafuckin' head like Erykah Badu
I find irony in being in a place where I'm
Wearing Gucci, mane, getting white boy wasted
I tell a nigga, "break bread or take lead"
I'm tryna get rid of this weight like K-Fed
Me and Denaun got a gangsta bond
We like that once-in-a-lifetime thang to you that ain't the prom
The next Emcee that rhyme "official" with "ref with a whistle"
That ain't Young Money, I'mma definitely diss you
If you rhyming "packing a Mac" with "back of the Ac"
Or perhaps you can't match my spectacular vernacular
You still rhyming "bottles" with "models", "college" for "knowledge"
Using the word "swagger"? You're probably garbage
You thugs funny, comparing 5'9" to anybody?
You comparing Superman to Bugs Bunny

[Verse 3: Eminem]
I'm like a white Michael Vick, psycho enough to stick
Michael J. Fox in a microwave with a Rott
I might make a little Alizé with a side of NyQuil
And ride a motorcycle bike right through the side of my high school
Satan's disciple with a sniper rifle and a knife and a white diaper
Liable to shit on you while I snipe you
So dope he gets off opiates, what an appropriate
Way to start off his day; he may just smart off to Dre
He may be hard to contain cause his rage is so hard to gauge
See, Hannibal ate his face and met Jason gnawed off his leg
Amazing hard-on for razors and blades and anything sharp
Even poisonous darts; it all plays a major part of his game
Holy water won't ward him off, crucifixes won't do the trick
He's so sick, it's ridiculous; sawed the crazy part off his brain
He's still insane, why's there bloodstains on his carpet, mane
There's some crazy shit going on in Shady's apartment again

[Verse 4: Mr. Porter]
A killer's back to the blocks, slinging yay like the old days
Superman on the beat, I carry my whole state
You wooden legs to a house: you can't hold weight
Oh shit, it's O'Shea Jackson! Okay
A little bit of this twisted out with Obama in it
Mr. Porter back with anthrax like Osama sent him
Bitch, I'm all that; I drive the girls crazy
They gotta look at Rorschachs to get they thoughts back
I ain't a small fry, small ticker, small tack
I make 'em all cry with big dick and raw sack
The potblood of science to return a raw rap
I'm the best, mane: Eli Porter stance

[Verse 5: Royce da 5'9"]
Y'all bitches should call Nickle the Don Bishop
A poet, a mixer of Don Goines and John Grisham
Flow'll have ya rewinding through it five times
That landmine rhyme written with porcupine line
Step up in here with the Slaughterhouse
C.O.B. Gang will approach you
And bend ya gun barrel to a Horseshoe
Only fuck wit monsters, we the truth, monsters will pop up on ya
Like ya said "Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice"
I can't even see the booth, I could fit Stevie's shoe
I'm sick, I got the Desert Eagle flu
I'm rich, lil' nigga, we don't need a cent, we Teflon
The doctor take blood, the needle bent, ax mom
Outta my mind if you can imagine
Using Magic's johnson without a condom, I'm bonkers!
Got the streets going, "dude, it's tremendous"
If I come for ya blood, I ain't gonna be using syringes

[Verse 6: Eminem]
Newsflash, I'm still trashed, them pills shoulda killed my ass
But they didn't, they just made me stronger
It's like they rebuilt my ass, like the Six Million Dollar Man after the crash
It's Aftermath, bitch! And my milk glass is still half-empty
Yeah, tempt me! Hell isn't enough
They need to invent somewhere new to send me
As sick as I'm getting, they'll stick me in a conventional oven
With a rotisserie setting and won't even notice me sweating
Shit, I done made a verse, said some foul shit
Tryna go back fix it, fucked around and just made it worse!
Yeah, I'm back, looking no worse for wear, got these haters
Mad enough to rip off their hair and start punching the air!
Panties so in a bunch that they can't function
It's Shady and Royce, fuck yeah! What a dysfunctional pair!
So stop acting like a punk, get a pair
Take a pill and fall the fuck out, spill ya lunch in the chair

[Verse 7: Mr. Porter]
Look, I'm sick, somebody better get the Dimetapp
Who I gotta shoot just to prove that I can rap?
People ask where my shine is at
I say check the liner notes, I done done all kinda crap
I am so much of a star, bitch
That I can fart and piss on the red carpet
Look, my bank account's retarded
My debit card's got a helmet and a harness, hey
Meet demands but they all are harmless
At shows, my riders always the largest
I need four pounds of fried poultry carcass
And red M&Ms chartered from Charlotte
Look, and if you try to act dumb and start shit
I just yell at 'em like, "I'm the artist!"
In fact that you know the deal
If you wanna play sick, we can all get ill
Look: measles, mumps, I made you bitches
I don't need you chumps, y'all got cheese
And I need my chunks! Hurry up
So I can go to burn rubber and get some more dunks

[Verse 8: Royce da 5'9"]
Now if your attitude determines your latitude
This house that we call hip hop? I'm in the attic, fool
A mic and two turntables, fit for the unstable
Converted to a padded room, keep a street sweeper in fact
I call the mag a broom, you seeing beef, seeing things
You musta had yourself a bag of shrooms, I make a call
Make 'em fake a fall, my clique is too sick, say goodbye
In the streets where the stakes is high like Ruth's Chris
I'm from the city of true shit
Where the mayor went to jail for being a player right after Proof split
Levels the head of competitors Royce that
I'm drinking everyday 'til Hex Murda get his regular voice back
Ras, I got ya, look scared at ya, blast from ya
From a block away; ask Tricky, I'm that niggie
I'm mo hooder than black dickies
I rap like committing suicide in the booth taking the track with me
Patrón's in my chromosomes in order to leave it alone
You have to ween me off that Lorena Bobbitt chopper'd
Knock a weenie off, put your body between chalk
I'm squeezing the nine iron like I'm swinging golf
I'm with the best rapper alive, put something on it
Yo sound's plain as a cheeseburger with nothing on it

[Verse 9: Eminem]
I'll do a hundred-yard dash just to slash Kim Kardash in the ass
With a shard of glass from Nick Hogan's car crash
You may look like the passenger for that, don't be a smart ass
Yeah, laugh while sit there thinking that the hard part passed
You ain't seen pain 'til Leatherface flips, mane
I'll cut ya fuckin' balls off, homie, my saw's off the chain
I chopped the bitch in half with it, sawed off her legs
And the top half of the torso fuckin' crawled off and sang
I ain't seen shit like that since I went to Mike Jack's
And took the Elephant Man's skull, fucked it, and put it right back
Handed my dick to Bubbles while he sucked it and licked my nutsack
Gave him a reacharound while I fucked him right in his buttcrack
Nah, I ain't taking it back, faggot, fuck that!
I give a fuck about nothing so here's where you fucked up at
Don't go touching that can, man, you don't wanna open up that!
Wait a min... ah, shit... Alchemist, cut that!